McKay E's Response to "When Nice Ain't So Nice"

Reading Eloise Bell’s article “When Nice Ain’t So Nice” scared me. Each point she made about the use of “nice” in our society seemed to highlight everything I try to do. I have been described as your “overly nice person who does everything he can to help others.” I hate feeling angry or hurting others. I have never really paid attention to any feelings of anger or “dark side” tendency as she describes them, but I have had several people predict that one day my niceness will snap and I will become a mass murderer. This is obviously an extreme prediction, but I do worry that I may not be balanced emotionally. 

It is interesting that she should mention the high amount of pressure to be nice in today’s world. I never considered the fact that I would feel guilty if I didn’t live up to the “nice” standard, but looking back this is a legitimate point. In school I would always see other people do things that seemed so rude and obscene in my opinion, that I would never be seen doing...and this could easily be explained by the high “nice” standard I had been taught by my parents and the community that largely affected my upbringing. I would never want anyone seeing me talk back to people, or crying, or yelling at someone. I know that keeping my “nice” composure all the time ensures that people hold a high opinion of me and my personality. 

What if I have a “dark side” driven into hiding by the need to have such a positive image in society? What if I am slowly building up unvented anger and hostility that will some day explode and become apparent to everyone around me. I think I have a fear of being  mean to people. It is very probable that this fear of cruelty has forced me to ignore negative emotions at times in my life, although I never thought they would stay inside me forever...waiting to become expressed.

The biggest comfort I have facing this dire possible outcome in life is the fact that I have a family on this earth. I know Heavenly Father does everything for a reason and having a family unit on this earth is no different. It is reasonable for me to assume that your family is one place where you should always have someone you can talk to. I know that I have had several late night discussions about life with my parents, or my older brother, even more so now that I am in college. These moments of discussion allow me to express fears and doubts in a positive and constructive way. Talking it out, I know that emotional conflict is resolved and I am able to move on being “nice” without having to worry about have to face my anger the next day. I think forgiveness and repentance work the same way. I know I don’t have to worry about being overly nice and killing everyone someday because I can let go of everyday’s repressed anger or frustration by forgiving my fellow man and looking forward with love. 

While this good piece of news if comforting, it doesn’t put away Bell’s terrifying argument that society can be “too nice.” I am a living model of societies “Mr. Nice.” After reading this article I don’t feel like altering my lifestyle. I won’t change my nice ways and start openly expressing my anger to anyone how crosses my path, but I will be more conscious of my negative emotions and how I express or repress them. There is definitely a point where being “too nice” can be unhealthy. Hopefully I will be able to recognize that point before I cross the line.