So, it’s Friday night and my house is a mess. And when I say mess, I mean apocalyptic. (There’s a reason we call our kids F-4 and F-5.)
There’s a baby bottle of was-milk-now-cheese under the couch, a shredded pile of what I think was a book, ground toothpaste in the carpet, a few (used?) pull-ups, wrappers from... something, some dirty laundry, a few DVD cases without DVDs, a couple of unopened cartons of yogurt, broken toys (quantity: 47), and oh my lanta I could go on.
I call the kids to me.
“Sam,” I say. “Lily. Look. What do you see.”
Sam (F-4): “It’s a mess.”
Lily (F-5): “A really BIG mess.”
Me: “And this is just the living room.”
Moment of silence.
Then, an epiphany. Well, more of just a remembering followed by a maternal sigh.
“We’re going to have to do this bird by bird,” I say.
Sam: “There’s a dead bird, too?!”
Me: “Maybe. That’s not the point.”
Lily: “You KILLED A BIRD?”
Me: “No. Close your eyes.”
Sam: "Can we get a bird?"
Me: "No. Close your eyes."
Sam: “Why?”
Me: “Just do it.”
Lily: “I don’t want to close my eyes.”
“Obey me the first time I tell you to do something.” (Too bad it’s already like the fourth, right?)
F-4 and F-5 close their eyes.
“Now,” I say. “Point.”
They point. (Miracles happen.)
“Okay. Open your eyes. What are you pointing to?”
Sam: “I’m pointing to a wad of gum.”
Lily: “I’m pointing to a ninja tutu.”
Me: “Okay. Don’t think about this whole big mess. Don’t think about how it’s so overwhelming. Just pick up that one thing.”
They stare at me.
“Sam, if you don’t hurry, Lily’s going to beat you.”
They scramble. Fast. (There might be some fingernails driven into kidneys.)(My kidneys, of course. Never mind the laws of physics, the one who gets hurt is always me.)
321 birds later, I get out my Roomba and I watch him circle.
Annie Lamott may have some seriously non-Honor-Code approved blonde dreadlocks, but she also has some serious sense.
We could have sat in my apocalyptic living room for days, staring at the massive mounds of crap everywhere, but then it would be days later and I’d—-let’s be honest, the kids would have ditched me by then—-still be sitting there all panicked and freaked out about the fact that my.life.has.come.to.this.
The problem with big projects is that they’re always so... BIG. They make the panic part of our brain go into overdrive and we get so freaked out that we just end up finding excuses to procrastinate. Which only makes the project BIGGER.
Save yourself a headache: go bird by bird.
(Not dead birds.)
(Gross.)
hahaha YOU KILLED A BIRD!?!?!
ReplyDeleteSo this is what our responses are supposed to be like?
I think I like this. there are a lot of cool articles to choose from, so this oughtn't be too bad!
also, a ninja tutu?...
The whole idea of 'bird by bird' is really ingenious. Life is college seems like it is one disaster and huge project after another. If we let it, it can destroy and overcrowd our lives. Luckily, bird by bird; one assignment after another can benefit the severity and reduce the stress. I make a list of things that I want to accomplish and finish the most important things first. I can't say that I always accomplish everything that I want to, but I do remember to take it one thing at a time. Otherwise, life gets really overwhelming and then I am inclined to give up. Bird by bird, I will get through this year.
ReplyDeleteThat article was really good. The whole bird by bird thing is really cool. It actually made me feel better and made me realize that I can do college. I just have to do it bird by bird.
ReplyDeleteI think I prefer your version to the one in the book. Much more entertaining. 'Apocalyptic' is what I think of my guy friends' apartments. Learn how to take out the trash, people! It's good advice (both the bird-by-bird and take-out-the-trash thing, but we'll focus on the first) and hopefully I will get my terminally procrastinating brain to follow it.
ReplyDeleteI think I get the idea as to how a blog post in response to an RFIW article should/could be written. The response was very entertaining and enjoyable to read; I hope everyone else's RFIW article responses will be this cool.
ReplyDeleteThis definitely illustrates the "Short Assignments" article for me. If I didn't understand it when I read it, I do now. :]
ReplyDeleteAnd I definitely agree with Claire, the whole Bird by bird thing is good to think of often as I'm here at college.
That bird part is hilarious!! Ah! Your kids sound cute! You have a really entertaining writing style
ReplyDelete(like all good bloggers) that I have been trying to emulate!
Also, Im afraid some of my roommates are just as messy as your young children and its DRIVING ME INSANE!
Thanks for the entertaining story to prove your point. I am quite impressed that you actually thought to use the bird by bird technique with your girls. It definitely is an important principle, though.
ReplyDeleteOh, and Roomba = greatest thing ever.
Wouldn't it be easier to clean up the birds as they died? Just saying...I let work build up, and then I struggle to get started, making it a huge project. Of course, there are obviously huge projects that surface (ahem...research paper), but other things like reading for Biology and finishing up King Lear, I shouldn't let them become big projects. But the sorry fact is, syllabi makes me want to curl up with my Ovaltine and watch movies. So that is my goal. Stay on campus another hour every day. Put these birds in the trash right after they die, instead of allowing them to build up into this huge pile of decaying bird flesh. In fact, I am going to make these birds into a feast (I really like the metaphor, okay?). Instead of merely cleaning up these birds, I will roast them. That way, not only will I be learning, but I will also be nourished. It's that whole killing two birds with one stone thing again...
ReplyDeleteI think that's a great example of how to break things down into manageable chunks. It really does make it so much easier, at least mentally. And not just in school either. I do it all the time when I'm running, braking it up into less stressful sections making it less overwhelming.
ReplyDeleteI still don't really know where to start. I suppose I can pick something that I know I need and go from there... then make 10 pages out of that. I just need to sit down and do it.
ReplyDeleteBrandon Burkhardt
Ya should definitely take my dorm room bird by bird. However the mess might be growing too fast. I might have to take it two birds by two birds. haha
ReplyDeleteThis was a good article to read! thanks it makes me feel a bit better about the flock of birds that is THE WIKI PAGE. so off I go bird by bird.
ReplyDeleteBetter start those birds that are my research paper...
ReplyDeleteMan, I thought my room was messy, but it's nothing compared to that. Okay, I'm going to sit down and work on my research paper for a few minutes now, and a few minutes later, and eventually, with enough few minuteses I will be done.
ReplyDeleteYeah, it's always good to implement those habits with children, while they are young and find cleaning fun. I know that isn't the overall purpose, but the "closing eyes and pointing" was so cute!
ReplyDeleteDUDE! i've totally made cheese before! so this was about doing things bird by bird, but what i'm interested in is how these posts get so good. Dr. SWILUA, do you revise these posts? and how did you get good at writing in your voice because it really does sound like you. I AM NOT TRYING TO BE A SUCK UP i'm trying to be a decent writer (not there yet).
ReplyDeleteI wish this blog was like facebook with the "like this" button. Tanner's comment mad me laugh out loud (to which my roommate looked at me like I was crazy and then promptly ignored me again).
ReplyDeleteI think I apply the bird-by-bird concept everyday to my ginormous homework pile 'cuz that teetering stack of books is scary!
Alright, I think I get the concept. At least it seems remotely entertaining.
ReplyDeleteCatelyn Gentry
Why birds? They're so nice, and assignments/research papers are ugly.
ReplyDeleteSo true. Its kind of like my Econ 110 homework. If you try to do it all at once, it reminds you that you took the most failed class at BYU, but a little at a time doesn't do it as much.
ReplyDeleteBird by bird....perfect way to attack Honors Writing papers. Now I just have to get the right mindset and actually start. to. do. it.
ReplyDeleteThis article was just for me. I don't care what everyone else is saying. This author must have had a vision of me, sitting at my desk, staring at my planner that is never blank. I absolutely loved this article. I really doubt I could ever do a bird at a time, but I really, really like the idea. I think my problem usually is prioritizing though.
ReplyDeleteThat's a much easier way of solving problems or getting into big assignments. When I am assigned something very large that almost seems too much to handle at once,it's easiest to just pick a place to start and work from there. Starting is always the hardest, but once you get into it, the work becomes easier .
ReplyDeleteAriel P.
My research paper agrees with your theory. Yes... My paper talks to me on a regular basis. Just yesterday it told me that it was hungry for some cheetos and i replied, "We dont even like cheetos!" So basically my research paper is haunting me.
ReplyDeleteOh and I think your kids should become tv stars too. They sound freaking hilarious.
Doing things 'bird by bird' seems to be a bit of help. I'm not one for looking at big projects and saying, "Well, let's tackle this right now."
ReplyDeleteHopefully, I'll be able to write this paper without any extra stress. Hopefully...
Oh, and ninja tutu? WANT.
My honest first reaction was where did you get the ninja tutu? Because that is something seriously unique stuff. Also I think something we can learn from your kids is that when we have such a huge project we like to ignore it and pretend like it's going to go away. You think we would learn that it just makes it worse. Then we have a panic attack because we didn't do it bird by bird or baby steps, reference to What About Bob?. It's awesome advice, but the trouble I'll having is actually applying it.
ReplyDeleteI love your writing! It's so entertaining to read, and I can pick out things that relate to my own life in it (trying to get younger siblings to pick things up must be harder than getting your own children to do it, since siblings tend to not want to listen to other siblings). I'm so happy that you were able to get such a large work done, and that roomba idea sounds nice. I'll have to get one when I get my own house.
ReplyDeleteGood advice that I should probably start applying to my life, ninja tutu by ninja tutu.
ReplyDeleteVery good, and very de-stressing. I liked them both. Yours was easier to read, of course, but that's probably because it was more vertically spread and I've forgotten how to read anything but a computer screen. Could I rent your kids out to clean my apartment?
ReplyDeleteI have to say that your voice when you write is very entertaining and interesting. Readers can't get bored reading your writing unless they don't read it... how would they like something they've never tried? (ps I'm not trying to be a suck-up. I just like your style. This compliment comes from years of sifting through mostly bad and sometimes good submissions to our literary magazine :/).
ReplyDeletethis is quite entertaining. I can't wait to have kids of my own and set them to constant capitalistic competition that involves one beating the other in the silliest yet productive competitions! Bird by dead bird indeed...
ReplyDeleteBig assignments always seem freaky until you just get started, and then suddenly they seem so much easier. Very helpful advice, definitely.
ReplyDeleteMy mom used to come up with little games like that all the time to trick us into cleaning. We caught on fast but it was usually too late. Lesson learned though, bird by bird, toy by toy. (try saying that 5 times fast)
ReplyDeleteHaha totally reminds me of the good old days. And what in the world. You killed a bird ahahahhhahaa
ReplyDeleteYou know, this has never really worked well for me. I would always give up, unless my mom was there to supervise. However, she tried letting us (the kids) grow in maturity by learning to clean up by ourselves. For some reason, it didn't work very well....... Haha :)
ReplyDeleteThis idea is such a useful concept. I have been saying this phrase in my head a lot lately, even for things completely unrelated to schoolwork, such as laundry. It works.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure I almost peed my pants laughing. Not okay.
ReplyDeleteHaha, very fun story. I think we were all like this at times as kids, am I right?
ReplyDeleteIf I would've taken this seriously, my life would be so much better!! It is a great story and everyone should take the message and put it into use!!!
ReplyDeleteThis is funny. I like it. I tried it for like a week and then forgot to think about things that way
ReplyDeleteHaha yep. Should have done it this way.
ReplyDeleteHmmm... sounds like a good time to give my roommate the 'dish by dish' talk... I think this applies to a lot of things and makes the world seem less of a mess (i guess).
ReplyDeleteWill try my best... still freaking out at this point.
ReplyDeleteAwesome. Reminds me of the Huey Lewis and the News song Jacob's Ladder. "Step by step, one by one, higher and higher."
ReplyDeleteOk, first off, I'm like crying right now. THIS IS TOO GOOD. Secondly, I'm one of those people that stress about every single detail and basically explode when I think about everything I have to do. I really have to work on taking things one step at a time...
ReplyDeleteThe messes little kids can make are amazing (I have 5 younger brothers, so I really have seen some crazy messes).
ReplyDeleteProjects certainly SEEM big... and then you realize that nearly all of our "projects" are synthesized by a human brain and that the human brain is therefore capable of CREATING that project and therefore completely capable of completing whatever said project entails. Cleaning house: feels big- once you're done, feels GREAT! Doing a paper: feels big (sometimes to some people) Once you're done? Feels like... why did I waste so much time worrying about that? Maybe I'm just weird, but I don't worry about anything. Not that I'm complacent, just that I have a different perspective on things I suppose. Wild grapes!
ReplyDelete