People procrastinate for a lot of reasons, but I think one of the big ones is that if we’re faced with a huge project, we don’t even know how to start. Here’s the secret: all big projects are really just a collection of tiny projects. You just have to figure out how to break it into manageable bits and then find the time to attack the bits—one at a time. Novels are written one sentence of dialog at a time. Really. So if you find yourself putting something off, figure out why you’re doing it. Is it because it seems so huge? Well, take ten minutes and figure out how to subdivide it.
But I think there’s another big reason that we procrastinate things: we’re afraid of sucking. So we self-handicap. If we don’t write it until the night before we can always say, “Ah, well. If I’d actually spent time on the paper it would be good. The only reason it bites is because I procrastinated.” And we never have to admit that we were never sure it would have been good. I confess, I spent a lot of my own time embracing this kind of self-handicapping. But the problem is that time keeps going on and eventually you realize that if you don’t actually try to do something good with your life, you’re going to end up doing a whole lot of nothing. This is a scary moment because when you actually try to succeed and you fail . . . well, it hurts like a mother. (And let me tell you: mothers HURT. I know this. I have two children.)
But there’s a secret to getting over this kind of fear. Are you ready for it? Okay, here it comes.
Give yourself permission to suck.
That’s right. You will never get the best out of yourself unless you aren’t afraid of falling on your fool face. Failure is just something you have to do if you’re ever going to succeed. Do you know what it means if you have never failed? It means that you have never tried to do anything that was outside of your grasp. It means you have never reached beyond what you already knew you were capable. It means you have limited your own potential to do good in the world.
So those are my thoughts. Break things into little bits. Work consistently. Get help. And give yourself permission to suck. (Learning to love revision doesn’t hurt, either.) It’s Dr. SWILUA's little recipe for happiness. (And an A in class.)
HAHA! you read my thoughts exactly. okay, permission to suck granted to myself if it means i can still get an a (and it's not just because i'm an a-nazi; i need the scholarships!!!). the first time i ever gave myself permission to suck was groundbreaking- i bawled my eyes out and learned that by letting myself suck, i also gave others more room to .... well let's just say not be perfect. i don't htink i have room to say others suck.
ReplyDeleteI am also on scholarship. Still... gotta deserve/earn/live up to it. Anyone read Atlas Shrugged? I don't expect to get something I don't earn. Hopefully I can earn it.
ReplyDelete- Jessica Allen
I have read some of Atlas Shrugged, not a whole lot though. I also am on scholarship, the Heritage with its 3.8 GPA req. 0_o
ReplyDeleteThank you for giving me permission to suck. I will try not to abuse it.
ReplyDeleteSo much sucking, so much fun. :) I need to learn how to not procrastinate.
ReplyDeleteScholarship people: Tuition at BYU is like $3000. Even if you got a loan *every single year* you'd only owe $12,000. I paid, like, $80,000 for my PhD. you could pay yours off in like five seconds.
ReplyDeleteSo, scholarships = not permission to not suck.
I give myself permission to suck on the condition that I will not use it as an excuse to avoid improvement and self-growth.
ReplyDeleteI give myself permission to suck. I will feel a lot better if I just realize that it is okay to mess up. So here goes.
ReplyDeleteDr./Professor Spencer/Kerry/SWILUA really is right. It is so hard to give yourself permission to fail. What can be even more hard is picking yourself back up again, for me at least. And it does hurt.
ReplyDeleteI'd never thought of it that way, but I think it definitely applies
ReplyDelete"Do you know what it means if you have never failed? It means that you have never tried to do anything that was outside of your grasp. It means you have never reached beyond what you already knew you were capable. It means you have limited your own potential to do good in the world." This is a great quote. Kind of eye-opening in that by not trying hard thiings and failing, you haven't just limited your own growth, but held back potential talents and growth that could benefit others, as well as yourself.
ReplyDelete"Do you know what it means if you have never failed? It means that you have never tried to do anything that was outside of your grasp. It means you have never reached beyond what you already knew you were capable."
ReplyDeleteI have never failed, not because I didn't push myself, but because my definition of failure is giving up. Any more than that is not failing.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletewow. I think this pretty much nailed me. Too often have I procrastinated till the night before an assignment was due, only to say: "oh yeah I stayed up late and wrote it all!" looking back, this wasn't impressive at all; it was stupid. I really enjoyed reading the concept of allowing ourselves to fail. If we fail, at least we gave it a shot. If we were meant to fail because we weren't good enough, we can MAKE ourselves better! I'm excited to succeed and become a better writer and hope to learn a lot from this class.
ReplyDeleteSean Kang
The hardest thing for me is breaking up large projects into manageable parts. I get anxiety easily and then its harder to work well.
ReplyDeleteActually, I don't tend to procrastinate too badly, but I'll still try to do better. Usually when I'm given a ton of homework, I realize that I'll DIE if I put it off, so I start right away. Nice quote, Kerri. :)
ReplyDelete~Mykell Aidukaitis
I now give myself full permission to suck. Enough said.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's as easy as simply saying I have permission to suck. we've all been programmed as AP drones to do everything in out power to put on a strong show of invulnerability. I can't promise that I will suddenly be able to accept failure, but I can promise you that I will work on it.
ReplyDeleteThanks for giving me permission to suck. I've always procrastinated in the past, but hopefully that will change.
ReplyDeleteHello.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you brought this topic up Dr. Kerry. I have always struggled with accepting anything less than the best, and that is just too difficult to maintain all the time. Although I also have a fear that I may have taken "permission to suck" too far in high school. I took an AP Bio class as a sophomore, and I know that science is not my thing. I knew that I would struggle and that it would be hard, but eventually I started expecting D's on all of my test, and I justified the scores simply because I struggle with science courses. I think rather than growing from my failure, I started to expect it, and did not attempt to learn from it at all...this kind of defeats the purpose of the lesson...so PLEASE, don't let me accept my failures so openly this year. I know that I can't be perfect, and I will get some bad grades, but I start to get stuck in the "failing track" just remind me that I should be growing and shooting for that well earned higher score... Thanks! :)
ReplyDeleteWhen I was younger, my grandma came to live with my family. Her philosophy was to come home from school and work on homework first. Then you had all the free time in the world to play with no stress. This wasn't an option. I did what she said. You know what? It works. Sometimes, I'll be honest, the work doesn't end 'till it is time for bed, but you did everything and can sleep well. I have yet to hear that procrastination was the best thing someone has ever done. Everyone who will admit they procrastinated will admit it wasn't smart.
ReplyDeleteI don't suck. Because I don't try. I will now begin my transformation to start sucking.
ReplyDeleteBrandon B.
Very inspiring post. I stopped procrastinating my senior year of high school, but I still need to learn to give myself permission to suck. At least about things I actually care about.
ReplyDeleteGiving myself permission to occassionally suck was thebest thing that ever happened to me, not really, but it was pretty great. I still need to get better and remembering to do it occasionally and not doing it too much.
ReplyDeleteJourden DeWitt
Starting is always the hardest, but once you get passed that, the rest comes into play much easier. No matter how hard I try to not procrastinate, something always comes up. It is pretty much unavoidable.
ReplyDelete-Ariel Pinvises
thanks so much for this post. I had no idea how to really start the wikipage assignment but i thought about it for a while and broke it into smaller pieces.. thanks Swilua!
ReplyDeleteI never thought about 'sucking' as acceptable. Althought college is a huge wake-up call, it was never accepted in the family. I guess it must be the once you loosen the tight lid on the cookie jar you go crazy. It's quite difficult to manage everything that is to be done in the 24 hour day. It sure is comforting to think that 'sucking' is okay, gives me hope to strive for higher goals. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteI like this new perspective on an old habit.
ReplyDeleteI often procrastinate for the first reason. I just don't know where to begin. This is especially true in writing. I very often waited until the last minute because it seemed the adrenaline would jump start my brain with good ideas.
ReplyDeleteI think one problem a lot of us (at least, I have) probably have is that we've done well in high school while having procrastinated to varying degrees. Maybe we'd all be better at not procrastinating if there were more reasons not to starting in middle school or something.
ReplyDeleteWhen I said blog stalked, I hope it was understood that I read your REAL blog. And I voted for Miss Provo. I also called her Miss Provo when she walked in.
ReplyDeleteThis is so true and wise. Giving myself permission to suck is something I need to do more often. I feel weird saying that because it sounds like a bad thing to do, but in actuality it's not at all.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading this, perhaps I will begin my wiki paper.
ReplyDeleteI revise as I go, but the whole 'breaking-things-up-into-smaller-bits' is so true. I've never thought of it that way; but really, if you break things up, you will be able to get things done sooo much more effectively... and you won't die of brain-craziness in the process.
ReplyDeleteI hereby give myself permission to fail. Then again, what if I utterly fail at failing? Will I have failed, or not?
ReplyDeleteI agree, not knowing where to start is a big part of procrastination. When You've sound where to start it's not always so bad.
ReplyDeleteYeah. I think I often procrastinate because I'm just lazy. Maybe I should get my act together and actually work for once.
ReplyDeleteProcrastination has been my companion for many years. This semester I have realized that I must break up with him. I just can't survive with him always at my door and by my side. Unless I want to fail life, then he can stay, BUT I'm kicking him right out of my life!! No MORE!!!
ReplyDeleteYeah I know about procrastination (oops). I think mine is mainly based in your second reason -- "Well, I didn't actually try on this, so it's not as good as it could be." It's just a form of self-sabotage. Boo.
ReplyDeleteI think that I succeed at procrastination. No matter what happens, even if I seem to be doing homework from eight in the morning to eleven at night, somehow something seems to be procrastinated. Maybe I should work on that...
ReplyDeleteProbably one of my biggest fears is to fail aka to suck. I especially don't like thinking aobut failing here at BYU.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with fear and intimidation leading towards high stress, last minute procrastination . It's like preparing for a marathon in the same sense that putting all your effort into the night before does NOT help the overall performance nearly as much as spacing out your progress.
ReplyDeleteI'm not blaming my teachers or anything, but high school was extremeny relaxed for me. I let myself get into a routine of waiting until the last minuet to do things. In fact, that's why I graduated early from high school, to get away from that(which is ironic because I technically haven't graduated yet, and still have some essays to write for my english class, witch I have been pushing off and now have to do along with my college work). As a runner, I also appreciate Jeff's comment about waiting to train for a race. It doesn't work that way.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny, but I never really thought of why I procrastinate. But after reading this, I realized that I procrastinate because I get overwhelmed by assignments. I will take your advice and try to split each assignment into smaller, more manageable chunks. Maybe then I won't be so tempted to put it off.
ReplyDeleteI have a huge fear of failure... so I suppose my new goal for this semester should be, "embrace the suck". Trying and failing is better than reaching way below your potential and still failing.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree! I have already accepted that I might fail at some things in life, but I still try to do my best anyway.
ReplyDeleteNice recipe for happiness, I certainly know that procrastination is the never fail recipe for stress.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately for an arrogant one such as myself, it is not fear of failure nor is it a lack of knowing where to begin. It's mostly just, "I don't really feel like doing this right now..." And why don't I feel like doing it? Well... usually because once I'm done it will be over and I will have no further use for it and then I will regret the time spent on something that few- if anyone, assuming I write a good paper- will appreciate or care about later. So, pessimistic Stephen Henderson shall continue his procrastination with pride and joy as he watches most of his classmates who claim they will do otherwise... well, not actually do otherwise. Honesty is the best policy, yes?
ReplyDeleteGuilty
ReplyDelete